1 more month to go...(and I really need to say this)

that I can enjoy the comforts and other precious things of home before I fly off to the pseudo unknown in Perth. Despite my good fortune of being presented with the opportunity to study abroad, I can't help feeling dread, fear, anxiety and sadness that comes with being away from family, friends, loved ones and home. They've been the constants during the whole course of my life and not having them in my immediate surrounding in time to come feels disorienting to say the least. I haven't really been talking to my family about the way I feel because I don't want to add to the worries and the anxiety piled up on them already. And I guess I can't bring myself to do so also because it makes me feel sad. And it saddens them too, especially my mum. It's been building up inside me, and I get frustrated sometimes and stressed out even though I'm not doing any work at all. I also display the classic signs like denial. I spend most of my time watching movies, the boob tube and reading books instead of taking care of the necessary packing and planning. I know I have to eventually get down to it. Not getting my accomadation straightened out is another curved ball thrown at me which I seriously do not need right now...

I'm happy and excited about going to school. Experiencing a new way of life elsewhere. Possibly finding myself and hopefully, improving my sense of person. And at the same time, I'm afraid. I'm so scared that things won't go nicely and I'll end up maybe worse. I can't have too much room for failure considering what it took for my parents to put me there and how much I have gone and will go through for that. I am so going to miss everyone and everything. Simple pleasures I took for granted here in Singapore. I just hope that the sad moments there won't get to me too much. I won't have the security of familiar comfort while I'm there.

Watched The Golden Globe Awards this morn. Nicole Kidman won Best Actress for The Hours, yay! Although I haven't watched the film, judging from the trailers and snippets I watched from the movie and reading up about it and Kidman's commitment to the film, I feel it's a deserved win. I was rooting for Nowhere In Africa for the Best Foreign Film category but honours went to Pedro Almodovar's Talk To Her. I heard good things about that movie and besides, it's from a talented director. No complaints there. It was like a head to head fight between Adaptation and Chicago. And I was surprised when Richard Gere walked away with Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy and even more surprised when The Hours came away with Best Dramatic Picture against heavy weights like The Lord of The Rings:The Two Towers, About Schmidt and Roman Polanski's The Pianist!!! I heard it was good but didn't know it was that good to kick the asses of three movies most movie geeks swore were the best of 2002. I have yet to catch the beloved The Pianist...I'm still waiting...and waiting...

doesn't Nicole look stunning? Loved her dress...
I finished reading Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones today also. It's a great book. What I love most about it is how passionate Sebold is. I got to feel and relate to every possible emotion she ran by her multi-dimensional characters. Her protagonist, Susie Salmon, a 14-year old girl raped and murdered and speaking to us in heaven, is omniscient yet intimate and vulnerable. Very fascinating read. I totally recommend it.

I really oughtta start packing....